


Our Dangerous Game

by BisexualDisasterTM



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Abuse, Angst, Author Is Sleep Deprived, Bisexual Harry Potter, Bottom Harry Potter, But they switch as well, But you already knew that, Drarry, F/M, Gay Draco Malfoy, Hermione wants to help, Hogwarts Fourth Year, Homophobia, How Do I Tag, Internalized Homophobia, Loss of Virginity, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Oblivious Harry, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Past Rape/Non-con, Plz dont read this if it may trigger you, Self Suffocation, Self-Destruction, Self-Harm, Self-Harming Draco Malfoy, Self-Harming Harry, Sleepless nights, Suicidal Draco Malfoy, Suicidal Harry, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide, Suicide Attempt, Suicide Notes, Swearing, The Author Regrets Everything, They keep egging each other on to do more, This is looking like a fun fic, Top Draco Malfoy, Toxic Relationship, Triwizard Tournament, Underage Sex, Use of the f slur, Yule Ball (Harry Potter), loss of appetite, love y'all be safe
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-06
Updated: 2020-08-06
Packaged: 2021-03-05 22:55:34
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,428
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25753204
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BisexualDisasterTM/pseuds/BisexualDisasterTM
Summary: *TRIGGER WARNING* (Please read the tags)A misplaced suicide note leaves Draco and Harry playing a dangerous game but when things get from bad to worse, who's going to be the first to crack?Note: This story will contain a lot of self-destruction and toxicity. I absolutely do NOT approve of the way Harry and Draco are going to handle each other. Please, if someone you know is harming themselves, don't damage yourself to guilt them into stopping.
Relationships: Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter, Hermione Granger/Ron Weasley
Comments: 8
Kudos: 73





	Our Dangerous Game

He could vividly remember the start of this fiasco.

It was fourth year and a shaken Draco Malfoy packed his bag and ran out of the classroom in speed he didn’t know was possible. Picking up the items he had left behind, Parkinson hurried after him. He wasn’t the only one behaving strangely after their lesson on the unforgivables; Neville looked like he had seen a ghost and he himself didn’t know how to feel. The flash of green light that had forever haunted his dreams still lingered in his mind.

Hermione sent him a worried look and squeezed his hand under the table.

“Do you want to talk about it?” She asked.

“It’s fine, you go ahead,” Harry replied. He needed some time alone right now and as much as he appreciated Hermione concern, it wasn’t helping.

“See Hermione, he’s fine now stop worryin- OW!” Ron yelped in pain after an elbow to the stomach and a terrifying glare.

Harry couldn’t help but laugh and patted Ron on the back. Perhaps one of these days those two would get their shit together and release all their sexual tension with a thorough snog. Until then, however, he had the privilege of watching them dance around each other, their mutual attraction painfully obvious to all but them.

“I’ll see you both in the common room,” And with that, they left.

Others around him were chatting about the lesson’s events and Moody had left to go comfort Neville. He tried to place a finger on what he was feeling, surely he must be feeling something after witnessing what killed his parents? And yet, all he felt was… numbness? He simply didn’t feel anything at all, like he was detached from reality.

On his way out, he noticed a crumpled piece of parchment on the floor. Not thinking anything of it, he walked towards the door.

_If you don’t pick it something bad’s gonna happen._

**That’s fucking dumb it’s a piece of parchment.**

_What if it has death eater plans and someone dies because you couldn’t be bothered to pick it up and read it? What if Ron or Hermione die? It’d be all your fault._

With a groan, Harry turned around and picked up the parchment, a gasp escaping him as one word caught his eye.

_**Suicide** _

He started reading from the top.

_**To those this may concern,** _

_**If you’re reading this, I’ve done myself in. As of writing this note, I’m unsure how I managed to rid the world of my existence. Perhaps I Avada Kedavra’d myself. Unlikely though, considering its dark history. I doubt I used any form of magic, who would’ve thought I wanted to do something the muggle way for a change? I grew up with everything a child wanted. Toys, broomsticks, anything really. I was envied. My parents were distant from me but that was okay, I didn’t know any different at the time. I was nine years old when my father first tortured me.** _

_**We were eating dinner and mother asked what it was like at Blaise’s house. I remember telling them I had a brilliant time and that Blaise was so fun, I wanted to marry him.** _

_**Immediately my father turned rigid. At that age, however, I didn’t notice this and continued prattling on about that day’s happenings. After dinner, I was called into his study. Assuming he was going to give me the new racing broom I wanted, I happily went.** _

_**That was my first taste of the Cruciatus Curse.** _

_**I still have faggot carved into my arm.** _

_**Soon I got my Hogwarts letter. At last, I was free from my father’s grasp! I expected everyone to adore me like they had my whole life but I had to fuck it all up, didn’t I? Me and my big mouth.** _

_**The first time I met Potter I projected my father’s thoughts to him. Of course, he was immediately wary of me. When he rejected my hand in first year, it left a bitter taste in my mouth. I had been told of the Dark Lord’s downfall from father, how Harry Potter was our enemy but he intrigued me. How could a baby stop the darkest wizard of all time? How did he survive the killing curse? Then, we became enemies and my childhood fantasies of going on grand adventures with THE Harry Potter dissipated.** _

_**I hated the summers. Each time Potter thwarted the Dark Lord, Father unleashed his wrath on me. Crucio after Crucio, I took it all.** _

_**I gave Granger that page.** _

_**Do you honestly think Granger would rip a page out of a book? When the Chamber of Secrets opened, I tirelessly searched for answers and eventually, I found them. Knowing it was a basilisk would do me little good; if word got out to father that I was attempting to save muggleborns, the consequences would be dire. So, I placed the book somewhere Granger would find with the page already ripped out on the front. She found it and I watched as the gears moved in her brain until she realised what she had just uncovered. My work done, I left the library.** _

_**Then it was announced that she had been petrified and I had no idea what had happened to the page. I hoped that a teacher had found it (who wasn’t Lockart, the git) and knew what to do. A few eavesdropped conversations told me that Potter and Weasley were aware of the basilisk. What I miscalculated, however, was the sheer amount of idiocy that Gryffindors contain.** _

_**They went to the chamber. With Lockhart. Thank fucking Merlin they survived.** _

_**I went back to the manor after the diary was destroyed and my father’s plan was foiled. Needless to say, he wasn’t very happy at all. That year, he wanted me to learn advanced occulemency. He saw all my thoughts. He knew I was gay and that I was the reason the Dark Lord’s diary was destroyed.** _

_**For that summer, I became the fuck toy of father and his friends.** _

_**Mother knew, but she couldn’t do anything; defy father and we would be dead by morning. We both knew that if we wanted to be safe, we had to obey him.** _

_**Third year I was weak and broken. The summer had damaged me too much and I was on the verge of breaking down half the time. Pansy and I became close and she was soon aware of my constant mood swings. She tried, truly she did, but the trauma of that summer was too much. Pansy didn’t know what had made me this way.** _

_**Then that stupid fucking hippogriff; once father became aware of what had happened, he forced me to use it as a way to sack Hagrid. Why would I go through all that trouble just to get him sacked? I agree that the hippogriff was a bit much for third years but I didn’t want it executed for Merlin’s sake! Fear of my father’s wrath, however, kept me playing the role of a loyal son. I caused the largest fuss about my arm possible. Pansy helped, understanding my dilemma.** _

_**The hippogriff escaped somehow and I was happy for it but when the summer started, father was once again angry.** _

_**Now I’m here, at Hogwarts. My arms have been used like fucking cutting boards and my will to live is lower than Longbottom’s chances at getting an O for potions. I truly have nothing left to stay for and it’s better I die now by my own hand then later once I’ve failed the Dark Lord. I absolutely do not stand for his beliefs and I know he’s coming back soon, father can feel it. I can’t get up in the morning, I can’t eat, I can’t sleep and these shitty voices in my head won’t leave me the fuck alone. What’s the point of living anymore?** _

_**Pansy, I’m sorry I never told you. I just couldn’t risk it and I don’t want you to blame yourself. You were one of the best friends I ever had. You were the only friend I ever had. I wish you all the best for your future.** _

_**Mother, I’m sorry it had to be this way. Run to Dumbledore, get help, do what I wasn’t brave enough to do.** _

_**Father, fuck you. I hope you rot in Azkaban for the rest of your life.** _

_**Hoping to find peace in death,** _

_**Draco Malfoy** _

Harry stared at the innocent-looking piece of parchment, hands shaking and dread filling his gut.

Malfoy?

**Author's Note:**

> Comments are appreciated :)


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